Where Do Relationship Problems Come From?

Relationships can be complicated. While rewarding, they can also be wrought with conflict and distress. Most relationships don’t start off with problems, though they begin to develop over time. This can be true of any relationship, though particularly so in our romantic relationships. If your relationship or marriage has been experiencing problems, you may be wondering how they came about. Sometimes causes are obvious, other times it can be difficult to determine on your own. A skilled marriage counselor or couple’s therapist can help.

The Common Roots of Relationship Problems

Relationship problems generally start small. It can be hard to communicate feelings and concerns, however, when they are avoided, they don’t go away. The following list includes some potential causes of relationship problems.

  • Loss of love and intimacy: A romantic relationship without love and intimacy is like a vehicle without fuel. The structures and routines, such as parenting and household chores may still be there, but if you and your partner or spouse are withdrawing from each other this will likely lead to further problems.
  • Infidelity: If a partner is dishonest or becomes unfaithful, your relationship may feel broken. Being betrayed by your significant other is a deep and painful wound and may cause your relationship to suffer and breed resentment.
  • Irresponsibility: Marriage or partnership is a commitment to share life together, including the responsibilities that go along with it to make it work. When one half of a couple is negligent in shouldering their portion of responsibility, the other assumes a heavier burden that often leads to a crisis and conflict.
  • Manipulation: Although committed to each other, both partners in a relationship should still cherish their individual freedom in order for love to grow. If you or your mate, however, attempts to dominate each other’s freedom this can be unhealthy and concerning. Manipulation has no place in a healthy relationship
  • Lack of Understanding: If one of you is too caught up in your own personal viewpoints and desires, it can leave the other feeling dismissed, invalidated, unappreciated, or alone. Self-centered partners are often the ones that abandon a relationship to look for someone who will treat them as “special” as the way they think about themselves.
  • Lack of resources: Many couples experience a crisis due to the lack of means to resolve problems of life and marriage. These resources may be financial, and they may be emotional. Lack of money can be stressful just as lack of skills. If you are feeling that you don’t have the tools to solve your problems, it can cause great difficulty in your relationship.

A relationship crisis is capable of wounding you where it hurts most – at the heart of your partnership. Intense emotions can confuse you and make you doubt if you still love each other, or if trust can be restored again. Conflict can create a gap wide enough for a deep sense of alienation to be present in your relationship, making it extremely difficult for you and your partner to resolve conflict together. Seeking marriage or couples counseling can be a proactive way to reinforce an enduring relationship.

Why Couples Counseling?

Marriage counseling and couples counseling are terms used interchangeably. They both refer to an effective approach to solving problems and finding solutions. Counseling can help you and your partner learn healthier communication skills so that you can begin to find resolution for conflicts you may be experiencing.

Relationship crises can be overwhelming and consuming. You aren’t alone, therapy can help. Call CCS- Cameron Office today to get started! Online counseling and in person sessions are available.


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