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Is It Time for Marriage Counseling?


Is It Time for Marriage Counseling?


Getting married is often accompanied by the belief that couples are embarking on a fairy tale and they will live happily ever after. Fairy tales, however, neglect to mention that relationships need to be worked on and they don’t come with the “directions” to help couples face whatever challenges might be rocking the foundation of their marriage.

There is no question that marriage can indeed be challenging. Much like a brand-new car that gets scratched and dented from constant use, relationships can also show signs of damage that naturally and inevitably occur between two people. So how do you know if your marriage is experiencing a decline or deteriorating through the course of time? Like anything of value, you do not wait too long to repair it; so, finding a professional who can help put your marriage back in good shape again is even more important. When do you “bite the bullet” and decide when to see a marriage counselor?


Telltale Signs It is Time for Marriage Counseling

In many cases, couples seek out the help of counselors when they’re feeling desperate, disconnected, and even close to separation or divorce. This puts professionals in a tough spot because they are either expected to save a marriage or blow the final whistle to end the union. These red flags can tell you it may be the time to seek marriage counseling:


  • Breakdown in Communication: A good communication line is the most fundamental connection between couples. When it breaks down, the ability to share emotions, feelings, life events, and respect is diminished. If this happens, the most intimate connection is cut, leaving one or both spouses feeling unloved, insecure, depressed, and alone. This is certainly a time to seek marriage counseling.


  • Lack or a Sudden Increase of Intimacy: Physical intimacy is something that differentiates marriage from other relationships. It is an important element in many marriages. There can be many reasons for this to happen and it can be frustrating, such as financial issues, health, work, children, etc. Whatever the reason may be, an absence of or excessive intimacy can signal danger that can be resolved with the timely help of a professional marriage counselor.


  • Infidelity: If you are committed to your relationship working again while recovering from an affair, it is beneficial to seek marriage counseling. Infidelity is one of the top issues that compel couples to go to counseling not only to help them repair the shattered trust, but also to strengthen the marriage more than it was before.


  • Unresolved Conflict/Issue: One red flag that indicates it is time for marriage counseling is the recurrence of a conflict or an issue that has haunted the relationship from the beginning. When the same issues cause endless discussions again and again, it is a sign that the couple is not proficient in conflict resolution. Without any meaningful conclusion, further resentment may start the cycle of fighting. Now is the time to seek help to save your marriage and strengthen it for the future.


  • Indifference: While constant marital fights are a sign of trouble, the lack of it could also be a cause for concern. A couple who literally never fights or argues about anything with each other indicates a lack of interest and intimacy. Whatever the underlying reasons, help may be needed for the relationship to survive and thrive.


  • Children: Having children is a wonderful blessing, but it can also be a strain to your marriage, especially if you and your spouse have different parenting styles. Couples often disagree how children should be raised, or what kind of attention is good for them. While the attention and affection are meant for the well-being of the children, there may be temper flares and arguments since you and your partner may be consequently neglecting your most basic needs as a couple. If, on the other hand, your children are the only reason for staying together, it may help to involve a marriage counselor.


  • Secrets: Trust is an essential ingredient of any intimate relationship. Although couples are still entitled to some amount of privacy, keeping secrets or withholding important information from each other can be taken as a form of betrayal. As with any form of deceit, especially within a marriage, you can run the risk of losing a partner’s trust and putting the relationship in jeopardy. The help of a marriage counselor may be needed to restore that trust.


  • Need for Change: When every available avenue to improve your relationship has been tried, but failed, it is time for marriage counseling. If both of you as a couple feel you are ready to embrace the change you want, whether in yourselves or in your relationship, it might be beneficial to seek counseling to gain the tools, skills, and new insights to make new choices and do things differently for your marriage.


The Benefits of Marriage Counseling

It may seem easy to think there is no need for marriage counseling when the things are going smoothly or there are no real challenges present, threatening a couple’s happiness. You may become complacent, allowing a few unresolved conflicts or minor resentments to be “swept under the rug” to maintain peace. As with many relationships, ignoring important issues or trying to pretend everything is fine on the domestic front can breed differences, ill feelings, hatred and distrust. Instead of keeping everything inside, you may want to consider tackling the issues with a marriage counselor.

Despite the mixed data from studies on the effectiveness of marriage counseling, many couples consider receiving professional help is very beneficial to a marriage. In fact, your marriage may be ideal to you – open communication, rare arguments, intimacy, respect; but you still want there to be more. If you want your relationship to grow deeper and to continuously form a closer bond with each other, a marriage counselor can help you achieve your objective.

It does not mean you do not love your spouse if you argue or disagree occasionally. Resolving issues before they escalate and tear at the very fabric of your marriage may require a proactive measure or early intervention. Seeking advice from a professional does not necessarily mean your marriage is in bad shape or doomed. Working with an experienced and trained specialist is a sign that you value your relationship, your spouse, and yourself. It is also a positive step in preventing your marriage from ending up as another divorce statistic. 

If your partner refuses to go to therapy, you can come on your own. This alone can be beneficial in strengthening your own self-improvement and personal growth. Your partner may see the positive changes and eventually decide to pursue therapy on an individual basis.


Time is of the Essence

Studies show that the average couple struggles for about six years of unhappiness before deciding to seek help. There is no need to wait that long and continue watching your marriage regress from happiness to hopelessness. If there is one or more of the eight signs your marriage needs help, you should not wait that long to see a counselor/therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Cameron, on Hwy 87, near Linden Oaks. The longer you wait, the more difficult it may be to put your relationship back on course.

You may think it is difficult to meet the right professional, but by simply knowing how to choose your therapist you can start on the right path toward improvement. The right fit therapist independently contracted with CCS – Cameron, on Hwy 87, near Linden Oaks will work with you and help put the spark back in your marriage. Call now to schedule an appointment.

Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services – Cameron, NC

Counties: Harnett County

Areas: Cameron NC, Linden Oaks NC, Sprout Springs NC, Anderson Creek NC, Olivia NC, Pineview NC, Johnsonville NC, Spring Lake NC

Zip Codes: 28326, 28327, 27332, 28394

Rose Thomas, MA, LPC, LCAS, NCC

Specializes in: (Ages 5+) Children, Teens, Individuals, Couples and Families. Anxiety, Depression, ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder, ADHD, Relationship Issues, Marriage Counseling, Parenting, PTSD/Trauma Recovery, Acute Stress Disorder, Adult Sexual Abuse Survivors, Adjustment Disorders, Depressive Disorders, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Bipolar and Related Disorders, Self-injurious/Self-Harm, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Separation Anxiety, Disruptive Disorders, Conduct Disorder, Marital Conflict and Discord, LGBT, Substance Use Disorders
 Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Tricare Prime, Tricare Select, Extra, Retired, Cash, HSA and FSA accepted (credit cards accepted)
 Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express


Specializes in: (Ages 4+) Children, Individuals, families, PTSD, Trauma, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Adjustment Disorder, ADHD, Depression, Anxiety, communication skills, and Parenting Skills, Behavior Management, Life transitions, Family Conflict, Difficulty Coping, Relationship Problems, Depression, Anxiety

InsuranceBCBSTricare, Cash, HSA and FSA accepted and Apple Pay

Credit cards:  


Shirlisa Daniels, MS, LPC, NCC

Specializes in: (Ages 4+) Children, Teens, Adults and Individuals, Families, Anxiety Disorders, Depression, Panic Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, ODD, PTSD, Relationship Issues, Conflict Resolution and Life Transitions
Insurance: BCBS, Tricare, Cash (credit cards accepted)
 Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

How Do I Set Up my FIRST Appointment?

  • Call: (910) 716-8006 (Fastest way to schedule)
  • Text: (910) 308-3291 (Reply will be via phone)
  • Click here and use our Contact Form (You must include your phone number, because replies will only be made by telephone to ensure security/privacy)
  • Call or Text for your New Patient Appointment Anytime!
  • Appointment scheduling for NEW clients: Mon-Fri 8:30am-5:15pm
  • New client appts may be scheduled when therapists have openings, which may include daytime, evenings and weekends.
  • Established/Standing Appointments are made directly with your therapist!
  • Referrals: MOST beneficiaries do NOT need a Referral!
Carolina Counseling Services - Cameron, NC
35 Plantation Drive, Suite 100B and 100C
Cameron, NC 28326

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PO BOX 9909
Fayetteville, NC 28311

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