Just like everything else in your life, your marriage will likely change over time. Through the years, your marriage may be thought to “get better, like wine.” though this may not be the case for everyone. If you are concerned about the health of your marriage, it may not be wise to wait and see. Many wait far too long to work on their marriage. Relationships can be difficult, therapy can help.

You can ignore the signs that your marriage needs help and watch it go from bad to worse. You can also opt to make your relationship a priority. If you want to work through challenges with your partner, you have options. Therapy can help to improve intimacy and understanding in relationships. A counselor can also help you individually improve yourselves. Working on yourself can help to strengthen all of your important relationships, including your marriage.

Minor concerns can grow and fester if swept under the rug. Ignoring problems in your relationship can likely make them bigger. They won’t go away on their own. If you are noticing any of the following in your relationship, it may be time to take action:

Simple exchanges quickly become arguments or major sources of conflict.

After years of unresolved conflicts, you may both be full of intense emotions such as frustration, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, etc. This can leave you feeling exposed and prone to intense reactions. Leaving concerns unresolved can turn your relationship into a pressure cooker. When we stuff our feelings, we rarely express them in ways we are proud of. Once you have reached this stage, resolving your differences can be complicated. An impartial counselor can help you to discuss your concerns openly and work toward resolution.

You find yourself arguing more often than not.

It is only natural to feel on guard if you have unresolved problems and/or feel unheard. This can result in a great deal of conflict or even avoidance. You may find yourselves fighting often and/or saying things that you don’t mean. It is difficult for anyone to communicate effectively when they are upset. You aren’t alone. If this sounds familiar, you may want to try counseling.

You are giving each other The Silent Treatment.

Silence can be bliss, but the silent treatment is not. It can be difficult to talk about problems, hence making avoidance appealing at times. While it may seem easier to avoid concerns or to try to get your partner to know how you feel through silence, it is rarely effective. Communication is key when it comes to conflict resolution. While communication is important, it can be difficult. Therapy can help with this.

You are avoiding spending time together.

There is nothing wrong with keeping your individuality and having a life outside marriage. In fact, this is rather healthy. However, it is important to reserve valuable and adequate time to do things with your partner. It may not be enough if it is limited to obligatory occasions, such as graduations, birthdays, holidays or family gatherings. Time together can help improve your relationship and remind you of why you got together in the first place. Conversely, avoiding each other can be a sign for concern.

You are seeking other people’s company.

As mentioned above it is important to have relationships outside of your marriage. It can be concerning if you find that you often seek the company of others while avoiding the company of your spouse. This can be a sign that you are not finding your relationship as fulfilling and/or there are some things to work on. If left unaddressed this can lead to a number of problems down the line. This can also be further complicated by the type of company you are seeking. If you find your spouse isn’t on the list of people you seek out you may want to explore this sooner rather than later.

You seem to care less about yourself.

A healthy relationship can inspire you to take better care of yourself. Investing in yourself has nothing to do with being in a relationship, your self-care is important regardless of your relationship status. Though it can be a warning sign if you notice that you no longer care about your own wellbeing. If your relationship no longer feels fulfilling you may also be left feeling unhappy or depressed. This in turn can cause you to lose the motivation and energy to pay attention to your own needs.

You choose to ignore what’s happening in your spouse’s life.

Your spouse occupies a very important position in your life, and you are likely interested in what’s happening with them. You want to be there for them and know what is going on in their life. If you notice that this is no longer the case, it may be cause for concern.

You no longer want to be intimate with each other.

Any significant changes in a relationship can be cause for concern. If you notice that the intimacy in your relationship has changed, this is worth exploring. Intimacy can be impacted by a variety of things, though unresolved conflict is often at the top of the list. It can be difficult to want to be with each other if you are repressing negative feelings or avoiding significant concerns.

So, now what?

If the above concerns sound familiar, know that you aren’t alone. Many couples experience this and help is available. Marriage counseling can help you to address your concerns and find resolution. It is possible to strengthen your marriage and come out stronger on the other side.

Unfortunately, many couples wait too long to seek outside intervention. You don’t have to wait. If you feel that your relationship can be strengthened through counseling, call Carolina Counseling Services — Cameron, NC and schedule your first appointment.