Is It Time for Marriage Counseling?

Getting married is often accompanied by the belief that couples are embarking on a fairy tale journey that will result in a happily ever after. While marriage can be incredibly rewarding, most would argue that it is a far cry from a fairy tale. Relationships require work and they certainly don’t come with the directions. It can be hard to know where to turn when your marriage is facing challenges.

There is no question that marriage can indeed be challenging. Much like a brand-new car that gets scratched and dented from constant use, relationships can also show signs of damage. Navigating life’s challenges with a partner can be difficult. Your marriage will face obstacles. So how do you know if your marriage is in need of help? Like anything of value, you do not wait too long to repair it. Finding a therapist that can help may be a wonderful way to check in on the health of your marriage.

Telltale Signs You May Benefit from Marriage Counseling

In many cases, couples seek out the help of counselors when they’re feeling unhappy, disconnected or even close to separation or divorce. This can put professionals in a tough spot as they may either be expected to save a marriage or tell the couple when to call it quits. These red flags can indicate whether it may be time to seek marriage counseling:

  • Breakdown in Communication: Communication is one of the most fundamental aspects of any relationship. When it breaks down, the ability to share feelings, thoughts, life events, and respect can be diminished. If this happens, the most intimate connection may be impacted, leaving one or both individuals feeling unloved, insecure, depressed, and alone. If you feel that your communication is suffering, it may be time to seek marriage counseling.
  • Lack of or a Sudden Increase of Intimacy: Physical intimacy is often a very important part of most relationships. There can be many reasons for changes in physical intimacy and it can be frustrating. Whatever the reasons may be, an absence or excess of intimacy can signal concerns that can be resolved with the timely help of a professional marriage counselor.
  • Infidelity: If you are committed to your relationship working again while recovering from an affair, it can be beneficial to seek marriage counseling. Infidelity often what brings couples to counseling, not only to help them repair trust, but also to strengthen their marriage.
  • Unresolved Conflict: You may find yourself coming back to the same disagreement over and over again with no resolution. When the same issues cause endless discussions again and again, it is a sign that you may need some help with conflict resolution. Without any resolution, you may find yourself growing resentful. Now may be the time to begin marriage counseling.
  • Indifference: While constant arguing can be a sign of trouble, the lack of it could also be a cause for concern. A couple who literally never fights or argues about anything with each other can indicate a lack of interest and intimacy. Whatever the underlying reasons, help may be needed for the relationship to survive and thrive.
  • Disagreements Regarding Children: Having children is a wonderful blessing, but it can also be a strain to your marriage, especially if you and your spouse have different parenting styles. Couples often disagree about how children should be raised, or what kind of attention is good for them. While the attention and affection are meant for the well-being of the children, there may be problems if you are neglecting your relationship. If, on the other hand, your children are the only reason for staying together, it may help to involve a marriage counselor.
  • Secrets: Trust is an essential component of any intimate relationship. Although couples are still entitled to some amount of privacy, keeping secrets or withholding important information from each other can be viewed as lying. As with any form of deceit, especially within a marriage, you can run the risk of losing a partner’s trust and putting the relationship in jeopardy. The help of a marriage counselor may be needed to restore that trust.
  • Need for Change: When you feel as if every available avenue to improve your relationship has been tried and nothing is working, it is likely time for marriage counseling. If both of you as a couple feel you are ready to embrace the change you want, whether in yourselves or in your relationship, it might be beneficial to seek counseling to gain the tools, skills, and new insights to make new choices and do things differently for your marriage.

The Benefits of Marriage Counseling

There may be no need for marriage counseling when things are going smoothly or there are no real challenges present, threatening a couple’s happiness. You may become complacent, allowing a few unresolved conflicts or minor resentments to be “swept under the rug” to maintain the peace. As with many relationships, ignoring important issues or trying to pretend everything is fine can breed differences, ill feelings, resentment and distrust. Instead of keeping everything inside, you may want to consider tackling your relationship concerns with a marriage counselor.

Despite the mixed data from studies on the effectiveness of marriage counseling, many couples find that counseling has positively impacted their marriage. In fact, your marriage may be ideal for you – open communication, rare arguments, intimacy, respect; but you still want there to be more. If you want your relationship to grow deeper and to continuously form a closer bond with each other, a marriage counselor can help you achieve your objectives.

It does not mean you do not love your spouse if you argue or disagree. Resolving concerns before they escalate and tear at the very fabric of your marriage may require a proactive approach. Working with an experienced and trained specialist can be a sign that you value your relationship, your spouse, and yourself. It may also be a positive step in preventing your marriage from ending or facing unnecessary struggle.

If your partner refuses to go to therapy, you can come on your own. This can be beneficial in strengthening your own self-improvement and personal growth. Your partner may see the positive changes and eventually decide to pursue therapy on an individual basis.

Time is of the Essence

Studies show that the average couple struggles for about six years before deciding to seek help. There is no need to wait that long and continue watching your marriage regress. If the warning signs above resonate with you, you may wish to see a therapist independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services – Cameron, on Hwy 87, near Linden Oaks. The longer you wait, the more difficult it may be to heal your relationship.

You may think it is difficult to find the right professional, but by simply knowing how to choose your therapist you can start on the right path. The right counselor independently contracted with CCS will work with you and help put the spark back in your marriage. Call now to schedule an appointment.

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