Finding the Cause of Your Marriage Problems with Counseling

Problems can seem inherent in a lot of marriages, whether you have been married one year or 50 years. Marital problems can cause a great deal of hurt that can last a long time. Unlike other kinds of pain, few things compare to the pain caused by someone you love and trust.

Wounding each other emotionally is perhaps one of the most common and most frustrating relationship dynamics. Despite the love and wanting to stay together, you may hurt each other in ways that can be painful, deceitful, insulting or even abusive. Couples can behave in ways that are hurtful no matter how much they appreciate each other.

Ways to Know if Your Marriage Is in Trouble

It takes maturity and skill to resolve marital problems, it can be difficult to learn this on your own. You and your spouse can be caught by surprise as resentment, blame, anger, suspicion, and other negative feelings start to come up. Before you know it, you may find that your marriage is in trouble.

Some ways to tell if your relationship is strained can include:

  • Family and Friends: People close to you may be able to recognize and spot a serious problem in your marriage before you can. If they express concerns about the health of your marriage this can be upsetting, though it may help you to see something you have been ignoring:
  • Children’s Behavior: Children are usually the first to sense that something is wrong between their parents. They may act out their frustrations, fears, and other feelings at home or in school. Their out-of-character behavior may serve as a barometer to highlight potential problems.
  • Physical Abuse: When physical abuse is present, it is always best to go to a safe place. Hurting another person is never acceptable.
  • Addiction: All forms of addiction, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, or pornography, can quickly impact your relationship. It is a major concern that deserves attention and treatment.
  • Intimacy: This refers to both physical and emotional intimacy. Take note of whether your needs for connection are being met, it can be helpful to discuss this and work on it with your partner if they are not.
  • Extramarital Affairs: One of the things that can be most painful in marriage is the discovery that your spouse had or is having an affair. The damage this can do to a relationship is enormous. You may be left wondering if you want to save your relationship after an affair. If you decide you want to work on your marriage, healing your relationship after infidelity is possible with counseling.
  • Withdrawal: When partners withdraw from each other this can lead to hurt and resentment. This can lead to an apathetic state where you simply do not care anymore. This can be a sign that one or both spouses have lost hope.
  • Unaddressed Emotional Concerns: When something is out of balance in the relationship, couples usually react with anger, anxiety, depression, fear, or guilt. Until the underlying problems are properly addressed, one or both partners may feel unsettled. When left untreated, these emotions and symptoms can lead to more serious problems. Addressing your feelings and your mental health is a vital part of a healthy relationship.
  • The Past versus the Present: Comparing how your marriage was in the beginning with the present can help you gauge if your marriage is struggling. Relationships do change over time, they will not be the same and this can be healthy. Though if you find yourself longing for how things used to be it can be helpful to address this with your partner and work on getting that spark back!

Counseling to Address Relationship Problems

While the above potential causes for problems in your relationship can be helpful, they may not cover what is going on in yours. Every person and relationship is unique. This is why finding a marriage counselor or couples counselor can be a powerful tool.

When you seek marriage counseling or couples counseling you can address your unique feelings and challenges. Your therapist can help you to build communication and conflict resolution skills. With your counselor you and your partner can build a relationship even stronger than before. Find the therapist that is right for you with CCS – Cameron, NC. Call today to get started.


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