When It’s More Than Fear:
Helping Children Overcome

In the eyes of a child, the world can be a fascinating, yet scary place. It is large and can be filled with many unfamiliar things. In response to all of these unknowns, many children can become fearful. Some of these fears go away as children get older, though some fears do not and may even intensify. Fear is not an uncommon emotion, in fact it can be a productive emotion that teaches them to be cautious, tempering their recklessness. Though left unchecked, fear can also impact healthy curiosity.

While some fears may decrease with time, many new fears can be developed. Considering the child’s lack of experience and their limited ability to understand, rationalize and verbally express their feelings, it is understandable that they may react in fear to many things we may consider harmless. With fear being such a natural emotion, it can be difficult to know when your child’s fear is becoming a problem for them.

When is Fear a Problem?

A vast number of children and adolescents experience fear. Many fears are outgrown in time but may also be replaced by new ones. For instance, babies aged 8 to 9 months old commonly exhibit stranger anxiety. They may recognize the faces of those they see on a regular basis, however, new individuals can cause fear. Toddlers, feeling secure with the people they know, may refuse to be separated from their parents or caregivers.

Preschoolers can have fears related to active imaginations, turning shadows, sounds and movements into monsters and ghosts. This is often outgrown, so that children 7 years old and older usually won’t be frightened by the same things. Rather, they may begin to fear more real dangers, such as their parents having accidents, a loved one dying, losses etc. When children reach the age of 10 we may see that they begin to fear rejection and/or not being accepted, around this age we begin to see more social fears.

Though these fears can be typical, they become problematic when they are intense, irrational and/or persistent. For example, a child 8 years or older refusing to be left at school could be an indication that there may be something more than developmental fear at hand. Though fear from being separated is expected from toddlers and preschool children, it can be an indicator of anxiety in older individuals. When a child has a traumatic experience, it may not be healthy to assume that excessive fears are natural. If your little one has troubling symptoms, such as nightmares, angry outbursts, jitteriness, irritability, sleeplessness, and poor focus – these symptoms may need to be addressed sooner rather than later.

Phobia: What Is It?

Fear is a natural human emotion that can serve a purpose when one is in danger. According to an article authored by Laporte et.al (2017) and published by the British Journal of Psychiatry, “It is an adaptive emotion and essential for survival.” It can be unproductive and unhealthy when it is already “more than fear,” bordering on phobia and it is interfering in your child’s life and their activities. Stanford Children’s Health defines a phobia as “an identifiable and persistent fear that is excessive or unreasonable and is triggered by the presence or anticipation of a specific object or situation.”

A phobia is a very powerful form of fear. It is excessive, generally not likely to occur and/or persistent. This fear can overwhelm anyone, particularly children. Though it may not make sense to you as an adult, the terror is very real and persistent. For children, these emotions can be incapacitating. Not taking the bus may mean missing school. Being afraid of dogs may prevent your child from leaving the house. If they fear crowds, they can develop severe shyness that may impact their social development.

Phobia or excessive fear is difficult to ignore because of how intense the symptoms can be, but fear in children can have unusual symptoms. Stanford Children’s Health shares these symptoms to look out for:

  • Rapid heartbeat
  • Sweating
  • Trembling or shaking
  • Shortness of breath
  • Chest pain or discomfort
  • Upset stomach
  • Feeling dizzy or faint
  • Fear of dying
  • Numbness
  • Chills or hot flashes

The Challenge

Parents may feel helpless and frustrated when they see their child facing extreme fear, especially when it appears to you as being unwarranted. According to statistics, about 10 percent of the population has specific phobias. A large fraction of those diagnosed with a phobia start to develop these phobias while young. Early intervention can be incredibly important in improving and eliminating phobias.

Recognizing the symptoms is key to receiving a proper diagnosis and treatment to improve the outcome of the condition. Unfortunately, it isn’t always easy to recognize the symptoms. For one, these bear a resemblance to the symptoms of the other disorders, like depression, ADHD and bipolar disorder.

Parents may also miss symptoms due to the belief that fears are natural in children and that they will soon pass. The younger the child is, the more challenging it can be for you, considering their limited abilities, insofar as verbally expressing their emotions is concerned.

Meeting the Challenge with Counseling

When your child is experiencing fear and anxiety you will likely want to find quick resolution. It can keep you preoccupied, consuming your every waking moment. The process can be difficult, though help is available. Counseling can help to identify the causes of these fears and work to find skills to address and eliminate intrusive symptoms.

Carolina Counseling Services – Cameron, NC contracts with independent therapists that know how to treat fear and anxiety in children. They can fully assess what is going on for your child and develop a treatment plan to meet their unique needs. Call today to schedule your first appointment and begin your child’s journey away from fear.

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