You are Good Enough and So Are Your Holidays

Unfortunately, many of our holidays are chock full of unrealistic expectations. We are surrounded by images of the perfect families and the perfect holidays. It’s no wonder we think we need to be perfect too. 

The reality is no one and no thing is perfect. You may be aware of this and able to say this to those closest to you, however, are you reminding yourself of this fact? 

Stress and the Holidays

The American Psychological Association (APA) reports that 43% of Americans report that holiday stress impacts their ability to enjoy the holidays.  Many report that symptoms of depression and anxiety present more often and even increase during this time. 

But what makes the holidays so stressful? Causes can include; 

  • Financial strain
  • Mental load
  • Increased obligations
  • Gift buying (stress about finding the “right” present)
  • Challenging family relationships
  • Loss of a loved one
  • Changes in routine
  • Travel 
  • Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
  • And the big one…. Unrealistic expectations!

There are many things that can make the holidays stressful. The important thing is finding what makes this season particularly challenging for you and finding healthier ways to approach them so you can enjoy the holidays again!

Unrealistic Expectations

The same report cited above also found that 36% said that the holidays felt like a competition. If this sounds familiar, you certainly aren’t alone. When our expectations are unmet we are often left feeling resentful. Unfortunately, many expectations we have are unrealistic and are unlikely to be met, creating a vicious cycle of disappointment and frustration. 

Unrealistic expectations can cause:

  • Resentment
  • Disappointment
  • Frustration
  • Relationship conflict
  • Low self-esteem
  • Anxiety
  • Depression
  • Fear of failure
  • Loss of motivation
  • Difficulty forgiving others
  • Burnout

Unrealistic expectations can cause a great deal of chaos in your life, even more so during the holiday season. 

Creating More Realistic Expectations

The reality is, we are all doing the best we can. You are good enough and so are your holidays, however, unrealistic expectations can paint a different picture. 

Psychology Today offers some helpful tips on how to make the most out of the holidays this year and address expectations: 

  1. Temper Your Expectations: Things will go wrong, sometimes when we practice acceptance around this we find we are less stressed when the inevitable happens and we may even be able to laugh off “disasters”. This type of thinking can help us to take a breath and feel more realistic in our approaches. 
  2. Expectations ONLY for Yourself: We have zero control over others, however, we spend a lot of time trying to control the uncontrollable. When we focus on our own experience and what we can control you may find that the holidays are far less stressful.  
  3. Identify the Positives Too: Of course there will always be negatives to a situation. Acknowledging this rather than avoiding it AND identifying the positive aspects can help you to have a more realistic view that doesn’t feel like it’s becoming toxic positivity. 

These approaches, and many more, can be learned and implemented in therapy. It can be difficult to explore expectations and set more reasonable ones, counseling can help. 

Therapy and Unrealistic Expectations

You deserve to have realistic expectations and enjoy your holiday season this year, and every year for that matter. Taking a look and reframing can be really complicated. Therapy can help. 

Carolina Counseling Services contracts with exceptional licensed therapists who can help. CCS also contracts with licensed prescribers that can help you to address any intrusive mental health symptoms you may be experiencing with psychiatric medications. You aren’t alone. You are good enough.. And so are your holidays!

If you are looking for exceptional psychiatric treatment in Cameron, North Carolina, reach out to CCS today to get started!

Providers are in network with most major insurances including Aetna, Aetna State Health Plan, Blue Cross and Blue Shield of North Carolina (Blue Cross NC), Tricare, Medicaid and many more. Online appointments are also available making getting treatment anywhere in North Carolina easier than ever before!

Jaime Johnson Fitzpatrick LCMHCS, LCAS is one of the Owners and Vice Presidents of Carolina Counseling Services. She is a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor and Licensed Clinical Addictions Specialist in the State of North Carolina as well as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in State of New York. Jaime is also certified in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy and utilizes various other approaches in her practice.