Adolescence can be a very fun time in life. It can also be a period when teens are confronted with a variety of challenges and issues, ranging from physical changes to social changes like trying to be accepted by their peers. As an adult you may find that some of their concerns seem trivial, though it can be challenging for them to learn how to adapt and overcome. Some of these situations may actually be “the worst thing that ever happened” to them. 

Having a healthy level of self-esteem can increase your teens chances of reaching their goals and overcoming obstacles.  Young people who have healthy self-esteem are better able to accept themselves, interact well with others, and resolve problems. Due to this, they can perform better in school and in social areas of life. If your child is experiencing low self-esteem, know that self-esteem can improve, counseling can help. 

Self-Esteem: What Is It?

Self-esteem is a general reflection of a person’s self-respect or self-image. It can affect your principles, views and beliefs and even impact the way you feel. It “is the experience of being competent to cope with the basic challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness,” says expert and author Nathaniel Branden, PhD.  Thus, it can be a determining factor in one’s emotional health and development.

There are two main aspects that influence self-esteem; self-confidence and self-respect. Self-confidence refers to “the sense of right” in choosing or deciding your goals and actions that determines your competence in achieving and succeeding. It gives you faith in yourself and it contributes to living without doubts or fears. Consequently, it can drive you and guide you in your decision making. Self-respect pertains to the “principles and values that allow (you) to make moral choices. It is often your personal worth based on the standards we rate yourselves by. In short, it is how you judge yourself.

There are usually two developmental stages when self-esteem can dip during adolescence, says Carl E. Pickhardt, Ph.D. in a Psychology Today post. The first may likely happen “at the outset in early adolescence (ages 9-13) when the young person’s separation from childhood creates a loss of contentment with being defined and treated any longer as just a child.” The second drop usually “occurs during the end of adolescence, trial independence (ages 18-23), when the young person is confronted with the daunting reality of independence and feels overwhelmed and diminished by the future shock.”

Though self-esteem is related to confidence and self-respect, it doesn’t mean that if you have healthy self-esteem you will never doubt yourself. This can be healthy in appropriate doses. If you have healthy self-esteem, you are more likely to think highly of yourself and believe that your family and friends appreciate you as a person. You tend to enjoy your successes more and tend to have a hopeful attitude despite adversities.

Building a Healthier Sense of Self

Having healthy self-esteem is important on so many levels. It can help you to accept yourself and others. It can help you to stay hopeful in times of adversity. It can help you to overcome challenges and meet your goals. Levels of self-esteem can grow and change. Help your teen to see themselves as they are and to grow a healthy sense of self. 

Carolina Counseling Services – Cameron, NC contracts with skilled therapists who can assist your teen in the journey toward healthy self-esteem. The way we view ourselves and speak to ourselves can begin to set the framework for our self-worth. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help your teen learn to challenge cognitive distortions and view themselves in a more positive light. 

Call today to schedule your first appointment. Online counseling and in person sessions are available.

Related Articles:

• Low Self-Esteem – Is Your Child Weighed Down By It?
• The Challenges of Adolescence