Change is constant. All things in life—your health, opportunities, relationships, and the people around you can change. Losses happen to everyone and can include the death of a loved one, failing health, the ending of relationships, or the loss of a job. When you experience loss, feelings of grief can be natural. While these feelings are natural, you have the ability to adjust, heal, and move forward.

Unfortunately, not every loss is the same. Some losses may cause you greater pain, especially the passing of a loved one, making moving forward seem impossible. Anxiety or depression may also complicate your grief or slow your ability to adjust. Other concerns, such as divorce, a chronic medical condition, work stressors etc. can also overwhelm and complicate your grief. When these experiences can feel like too much to handle, know that you are not alone, counseling can help.

Gripping Grief

Grief and loss are natural human experiences. You may have had losses in the past that you felt you were able to move on from and others that feel all encompassing. Not all loss is the same so one cannot expect to feel the same each time. Everyone is different and experiences grief and loss differently.

The loss of a pet may not mean much to other people, but if your pet served as your companion for years, it is natural to grieve after their death. The loss of an unchallenging job may be viewed by others as a good thing, but it could be the last straw in a series of bad experiences affecting your self-esteem. The end of an unhealthy relationship could be thought of as a blessing by some, but it can be far more complicated when you are experiencing the loss yourself.

Your grief is your own. It is a personal matter, and so is the process of recovery. This means you will express your pain in your own unique way, and you will move forward in your own way. Experiencing the pain longer can be your way of adjusting to the loss. However, if it is preventing you from living your life, you may need to do something about it, counseling can help.

When Does Grief Become Problematic?

Grief and loss can cause you to lose interest in everything else, including seeking help. When you experience grief and sadness for extended periods of time it can leave you more susceptible to depression. Left untreated grief can become complicated and deeply affect your functioning.

How can you tell that your grief is turning into complicated grief? According to Helpguide, some signs include:

• Intense longing and yearning for the deceased
• Intrusive thoughts or images of your loved one
• Denial of the death or sense of disbelief
• Imagining that your loved one is alive
• Searching for the person in familiar places
• Avoiding things that remind you of your loved one
• Extreme anger or bitterness over the loss
• Feeling that life is empty or meaningless

If these symptoms resonate with you, it may be time to take action. Not only will the intense pain persist, but it can also lead to other concerning feelings, such as cynicism, indifference, social withdrawal, sadness, and fixation on loss.

The Impact of Grief

Grief, particularly the complicated type, can impact your life in many ways. It can affect your health by causing insomnia or impacting your appetite. You may lose interest in completing day-to-day tasks. You may prefer solitude and avoid interacting with your family, friends, and coworkers. You may opt to forgo hobbies and activities that you were passionate about.

While grief may not dissipate as soon as you hope it will, it should not become the center of your life and existence. When it becomes persistent, it can quash your aspirations. You may avoid people and opportunities, leading to depression.

With counseling, it is possible to stay hopeful and to continue living a fulfilling life, even while you are processing your loss. Don’t let grief or any roadblock deter you from seeking help.

Moving Forward

Grief and loss are part of living and loving. They can be devastating emotions that can overwhelm you and your ability to accept your loss. Time can dull the pain, though this is not always the case. When your grief is complicated, therapy can help. You are not alone.

The pain of complicated grief can prevent you from seeing that you have so much more to live for: other loved ones, a promising career, studies, etc. You may not realize it at this time, but there is a way to transform your grief and move forward. An independently contracted therapist with Carolina Counseling Services — Cameron, NC can help you transform your grief into hope and guide you through the process. Call CCS for your first appointment. We look forward to hearing from you.