Bullying in School
| What Parents Need to Know

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”. Most of us are familiar with this saying, though there is some question about how true this is. Words are important and they can hurt. As a parent, you may be painfully aware of this, especially if your child is being bullied.   

Bullying, in various forms, is taking place everywhere, even in places perceived to be safe, like schools. It can create a pervasive environment of fear, impacting a child’s learning, enthusiasm, ability to socialize and their overall development. Like most parents, you may be appalled by bullying, and more so if your child is involved, either as the one being bullied or the one doing the bullying. What can you do to help stop it? Though efforts are being exerted on many levels to address this growing crisis, it still needs to be addressed at home.

What is Bullying?

The American Psychological Association ( APA) defines bullying as a “form of aggressive behavior in which someone intentionally or repeatedly causes another person injury or discomfort. It is deliberate and methodically planned, using abuse, intimidation, and/or coercion to sow seeds of fear. Experts say that “for the behavior to be considered bullying, it must be aggressive and include an intentional act to hurt or harm someone, an imbalance of power, and repetition.”

Bullying has been around since time began and has taken so many forms. Psychology Today enumerates the different and most common forms or outlets, such as “spreading rumors, tormenting victims, verbal harassment, physical harassment, sexual harassment, threats, and gossiping.”

Recently, bullying has evolved to include the misappropriate use of technology, such as texting messages or Social Media. Regardless of time or place, any form of bullying is unacceptable.

Facts About Bullying 

• It’s a crisis. The number of individuals impacted by bullying is staggering. According to the NCES  19% of students ages 12-18 reported being bullied in 2022. It is likely that these numbers are higher as many don’t report or admit to being bullied. 

• Anyone can be bullied. Your child could be among the most popular in the school, yet it’s not a guarantee that he/she won’t be bullied. It is a fact that there is no particular type of target. Children are bullied because someone made a choice to target or torment them. It truly can happen to anyone.

• Bullies come in all shapes and sizes. Not every bully has low self-esteem or is a loner, though these are common features. There are several types of bullies. There are those who torment others because they feel entitled, being rich, popular or admired for what they have. There are those who bully to improve their status, perceiving that they must prove themselves or gain recognition. There are also bullies who have been victims once; they could become bullies to end their torment. Then there are also those who bully because of peer pressure. There can be many causes for this kind of behavior. 

• Your child’s school isn’t always a safe place. Studies show that school is the place where most of the bullying happens. It is commonly believed that big cities have bigger problems and smaller schools provide a safer and friendlier climate for children. The truth is, bullying occurs in the suburbs, rural communities and schools in large cities. It can happen anywhere. 

• Bullying can happen at any age. Though it is often associated with children and adolescents, it can happen at any stage of development. It can start as early as preschool and worsen around the 5th to the 8th grade. Peer harassment rises following 3rd grade and takes a dip after 10th grade. Use of physical abuse diminishes in higher grades. For some it never ends. When bullying behaviors are unaddressed, there is a higher chance that they can carry over into adulthood.

• Bullying can have serious consequences. Bullying can impact your child’s mental and physical health. Feeling alone, singled out, and unjustly mistreated, bullying can leave you more susceptible to low self-esteem, eating disorders, sleeplessness, self-harm, as well as feeling isolated, scared and humiliated. No wonder there is an immense number of youths today, who skip school to avoid their bullies. Bullying may also increase the risk for depression, anxiety and risky behaviors, while interfering in the development of relationships and social skills. Bullies, on the other hand, may also carry their aggressive behaviors and unhealthy relationship dynamics into adulthood.

• Many don’t report bullying. Most children and adolescents do not report bullying. One reason is because they are afraid that their tormentors will retaliate by hurting or humiliating them more. They may also not tell their parents or the school authorities because they are confused or ashamed. Older children may also prefer to keep things to themselves because they do not want to be judged as being weak or they believe that reporting it won’t help improve the condition anyway.

• Know the warning signs of bullying. Whether your child is the target or the tormenter, you need to be able to recognize the signs to be able to help them. 

Counseling Can Make a Difference

Bullying is a universal concern that affects many children and teens. It has short-term and long-term consequences, whether your child is being bullied or is the bully. To address bullying and its effects on your child, it is best not to ignore it. Though programs are likely available in their school, seeing a licensed therapist can often be more beneficial.

Carolina Counseling Services in Cameron, NC contracts with skilled counselors that can help. Call CCS today to schedule your first appointment.