Low Self-Esteem:
Is Your Child Weighed Down By It?

All children are unique in their own ways. They have different personalities, talents, abilities and behaviors. Regardless of how they look, feel and behave—all children deserve to have a healthy perception of their self-worth. Self-esteem or self-worth can make a difference in how well your child handles challenges, interacts with people, and manages their emotions. Developing healthy self-esteem early in life can help them better manage difficult personalities, challenges, and failures. While self-esteem can change throughout one’s life, it helps to support your child and give them a good head start in life.

Understanding Self-Esteem

Healthy self-esteem can help your child to feel optimistic, secure, and confident. It can make them more likely to feel good about who they are and make it easier for them to handle and manage their problems. Children with high self-esteem are generally more likely to explore, adventure, and meet challenges head on, even outside their comfort zone.

When a child has lower self-esteem things can become more complicated. They may be left feeling insecure and unsure of what to do when confronted with life’s challenges. They will likely rely on you or another person to help them make decisions, missing opportunities to develop their decision-making and leadership potential. They are likely to avoid people and be unhappy with a greater tendency toward depression and anxiety.

It isn’t unusual for a parent to miss the signs of low self-esteem in their child. One of the things to watch out for is learning difficulties; low self-esteem is often accompanied by learning issues. A child who has low self-esteem often feels defeated, unsure of themselves, and shy, and may not likely ask for help. This can lead to performing poorly in school and may be a reason to seek professional help.

Who Is Your Child?

The child in your mind may be a happy baby, eager to explore and experience everything. You may have gotten used to seeing them in good spirits and haven’t noticed a change. You may be left wondering when this change happened?

With lowered self-esteem you may find that your child’s tolerance for difficulty has plummeted, and they are showing signs of exasperation with every task. You may hear them talking poorly to themselves, uttering words like “I will never get this thing right!” or “I am so stupid!” You may see them watching other children their age from the sidelines, not joining in, when they used to be a part of the team. They may feel unsure of what they want or uneasy with people. They may also exhibit depression and anxiety symptoms, such as excessive sadness and/or fear.

Children with positive self-worth will not be as frazzled by challenges and meeting new people. They are more likely to feel they are doing their best. The thought of failing does not intimidate them as much; they believe it is part of the process to be better. They are more likely to be leaders in class or on the playground, and they are happy, even when things do not turn out as expected.

Evolving Self-Esteem

Your child’s self-esteem grows throughout their childhood. It continues to develop as they grow older and are supported. As they grow, their environment gets bigger and more complicated too, making it impossible for you to filter every experience or assist them in every challenge. Because self-esteem is ever changing, it can evolve—getting stronger or weaker—from milestone to milestone or experience to experience, from childhood until late in life.

Your child is shaping their self-esteem based on their experiences, relationships, and environment. Good self-esteem can protect them from painful criticism, challenges, and failures. This is a great time to help your child develop healthy self-esteem, one of the first steps is to recognize the symptoms of poor self-esteem.

Unfortunately, these signs are often missed or ignored. What must you watch out for?

The Self-Esteem Institute offers these telltale symptoms of low self-esteem:

  • Faulty self-image
  • Inability to discern who and when to trust
  • Irrational and distorted self-statements
  • Lacking self-confidence
  • Mind-reading and negative projection
  • Obsessive Compulsive (OCD) and addictive behaviors
  • Overly critical of self and others
  • Reactionary behaviors
  • Rigidity or lack of flexibility
  • Self-focused
  • Storytelling
  • Unreasonable expectations

Boosting Your Child’s Self-Esteem

Some children have an easy time, moving seemingly effortlessly from one milestone to the next. Their secret may be their positive sense of self-worth. Of course, you want this for your child. However, boosting your child’s self-esteem can be extremely challenging.

Providing your child with help, guidance, and support can be critical when they have poor self-esteem. As a parent, you have the power to foster their self-esteem and make a difference in their life, but you don’t have to be alone in this. You can nurture and encourage your child with the assistance of a capable counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Cameron, NC.

One thing is clear: your child can better enjoy their life journey when they have healthy self-esteem. Despite your best effort, you can’t clear all the obstacles from their path every day of their life. What you can do is prepare them, so they can look forward without fears, hang-ups, or worries. You can provide them with the right help from an independently contracted therapist with Carolina Counseling Services — Cameron, NC, on Hwy 87, near Linden Oaks, as soon as you notice the symptoms of low self-esteem. Call today to schedule.

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