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Eight Signs Your Marriage Needs Help

Marriage Counseling

 

Eight Signs Your Marriage Needs Help

 

Just like everything else in your life, your marriage will change over time. Through the years, your marriage is supposed “to get better, like wine.” if your marriage isn’t strong, however, the changes may not be pleasant. It is unwise to ignore all the signs that say “not all is well on the home front.” Remember, the road is forked. You can choose the way to go.

You can ignore the signs that your marriage needs help and watch it go from bad to worse. You can also opt to save your marriage. If you want to stay and give your union a second shot, proactively work on your marriage with a counselor. Couples or marriage counseling can help because it can “assist people in relationships who may be considering separation or seeking improved intimacy and understanding.” A counselor can also help you individually improve yourselves. Thus, things can get a lot better, even when your spouse is just there to “react” or you are singlehandedly doing all the “saving.”

Are there a lot of minor concerns that are becoming major issues in your marriage? Sweeping them under the rug is the last thing you would want to do. If you want to improve your marriage, clear the roadblocks that prevent you from pursuing marriage counseling. The healthy thing is to be aware of these signs of a troubled union:

 

  1. Exchanges quickly ignite to become arguments and major sources of conflict.

After years of mounting issues and conflicts, you may both be full of emotions—frustration, anger, hopelessness, helplessness, etc.—making you extremely sensitive. Unresolved issues can make you and your spouse into “emotional sponges,” just absorbing all the pain, anger, confusion, grief, and guilt, until you can’t take anymore. Once you have reached this stage, resolving your differences won’t be easy. An impartial counselor can facilitate talking and communicating in ways to to sort out your concerns.

 

  1. You often find yourselves clashing and arguing.

Unresolved issues can kill a marriage as they wear out your patience. The same issues come back, again and again, weighing you down and pushing you into more disagreements and arguments. When all your interactions predictably end in heated arguments, do not delay seeking outside help from an experienced marriage counselor anymore. Don’t wait for sarcasm to become your way of silencing one another. It can only melt love and respect—the core of a marriage that deserves saving.

 

  1. An eerie silence has replaced your happy, playful, and loving repartee.

Silence can be bliss, unless it is a sign that you don’t want to talk to each other anymore. If all your interactions are consistently triggering disagreements, you may prefer to avoid conversations to elude the inevitable. If you sweep issues under the rug as a strategy to keep arguments at bay, it can work, but not for long. Sooner or later, you need to break your silence. Families talk all the time, to make decisions, to resolve concerns, and to share information. Conversations must not be stopped. It is the negative dynamics that need to be addressed.

 

  1. You are shying away from opportunities to spend time together.

There is nothing wrong with keeping your individuality or having a life outside marriage. You should, however, reserve valuable and adequate time to do things with your wife or husband. It should not be limited to obligatory occasions, such as graduations, birthdays of the children, or family gatherings. Wanting to go out to watch a movie or eat at your favorite restaurant is a sign that you still revel in being together. Conversely, avoiding each other is a sign that you don’t find pleasure in each other’s company.

 

  1. You are seeking other people’s company.

Inasmuch as social life is part of being human, you may seek the company of other people or spend more time at work to fill the void. While it is normal to attend company parties, or occasionally join friends in an after-work drink, doing so with regularity or frequency can be a sign that you see your marriage as less fulfilling. It is healthy to keep your individuality after marriage, but too much of it can distract you from sustaining a healthy relationship with your spouse. It may not be your plan to strike up an affair with a fellow worker or friend, but many affairs start like this.

 

  1. You seem to care less about how you look.

A happy union can inspire you to stay appealing in the eyes of your spouse. It may not be the quintessential basis of a passionate, romantic relationship, but when you are in love, you usually want to spend time on staying attractive. If your marriage does not fulfill you anymore and you feel unhappy and depressed, you are likely to lose the motivation and energy to pay attention to your hygiene and how you dress.

 

  1. You choose to ignore what’s happening in your spouse’s life.

Your spouse occupies a very important position in your life. This is why you should be interested in what’s happening with them. You want to be there when they come home from work to listen to their everyday concerns. What happened at work today? Was there another fight with a fellow employee? Or did their presentation earn positive comments from the boss? When you are not your spouse’s confidant anymore, or vice versa, it is a sign that you must not ignore.

 

  1. Your intimate moments have become “obligatory.”

Petty arguments cannot kill your love and passion for one another, but intense anger, loathing, and frustration can. If you have moved into separate bedrooms and sharing intimate moments feels obligatory, it can be a signal that your marriage needs help.

 

The decision to commit to a loving relationship in the form of marriage is supported by a great love for one another. Your love cannot be eroded by a few misunderstandings or minor differences: it usually takes years of conflict to wear down a marriage. This is why being proactive in marriage is good.

If these symptoms are not evident in your marriage yet, do not be complacent. Act on your minor issues promptly and do not let them snowball or be swept under the rug. Carolina Counseling Services — Cameron, NC, on Hwy 87, near Linden Oaks, is here.  You can work with an independently contracted therapist who can help you in resolving your marital conflicts.

If your marriage has all the eight signs of a troubled marriage, you need the help of a reliable and experienced counselor independently contracted with Carolina Counseling Services — Cameron, NC, now. Just wanting to stay married is not enough: you want to stay in a fulfilling, happy marriage that has the potential to endure through the years. Call now.  It may be time to start sorting out your concerns.


Serving Areas: Carolina Counseling Services

Counties: Harnett County

Areas: Cameron NC, Linden Oaks NC, Sprout Springs NC, Anderson Creek NC, Olivia NC, Pineview NC, Johnsonville NC, Spring Lake NC

Zip Codes: 28326, 28327, 27332, 28394

Rose Thomas, MA, LPC, LCAS, NCC

Specializes in: (Ages 5+) Children, Teens, Individuals, Couples and Families. Anxiety, Depression, ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder, ADHD, Relationship Issues, Marriage Counseling, Parenting, PTSD/Trauma Recovery, Acute Stress Disorder, Adult Sexual Abuse Survivors, Adjustment Disorders, Depressive Disorders, Persistent Depressive Disorder, Bipolar and Related Disorders, Self-injurious/Self-Harm, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia, Separation Anxiety, Disruptive Disorders, Conduct Disorder, Marital Conflict and Discord, LGBT, Substance Use Disorders
 Insurance: BCBS, Tricare,/Tricare Prime, Standard, Extra, Retired, Cash, HSA and FSA accepted (credit cards accepted)
 Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

Fetima Wellington, MS, LPC, LCAS-A

Specializes in: (Ages 6+) Children, Adolescents/Teens, Individuals, Couples, Family Therapy and Marriage Counseling. Anxiety, Depression, Bi-Polar Disorder, Addiction and Recovery, Relationship Issues, Post Partum Depression, Family Conflict, Crisis Intervention, ODD, Conduct Disorder, LGBTQ
 Insurance: BCBS, Cash, HSA and FSA accepted (credit cards accepted)
 Credit Cards: Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

 

Brittny Gainey, MSW, LCSW

Specializes in: (Ages 5+) Children, Teens, Individuals, Couples, Families. Anxiety, Depression, Academic/Behavioral Issues, ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder), ADHD, Relationship Issues, Marriage Counseling, Parenting, Trauma, Christian Counseling upon request
 Insurance:

BCBS, Medicare, Tricare, NCHC, and Cash
(credit cards accepted)

 Credit Cards:

Visa, Mastercard, Discover and American Express

How Do I Set Up my FIRST Appointment?

  • Call: (910) 722-9008 (Fastest way to schedule)
  • Text: (910) 308-3291 (Reply will be via phone)
  • Click here and use our Contact Form (You must include your phone number, because replies will only be made by telephone to ensure security/privacy)
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  • Appointment scheduling for NEW clients: Mon-Fri 8:30am-5:15pm
  • New client appts may be scheduled when therapists have openings, which may include daytime, evenings and weekends.
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  • Referrals: MOST beneficiaries do NOT need a Referral!
Carolina Counseling Services - Cameron, NC
35 Plantation Drive, Suite 100B and 100C
Cameron, NC 28326

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